Mar 2, 2023
Celebrity pro athlete Wally Green shows us that no matter where you've been and how you started, you have the choice and power to change anything in your life. He endured mental and physical abuse and almost took his parents' lives when he felt a strong presence of divine intervention, ultimately leading him to become a celebrity pro athlete and inspirational speaker.
Shownotes:
After experiencing a lifetime of abuse, Wally Green is driven to the brink of pulling the trigger on his abusive stepfather and mother, only to be saved from himself by divine intervention and find a new outlet for his anger in the unlikely sport of ping-pong.
Wally Green is a celebrity pro athlete from Brooklyn who overcame poverty and violence to become a world-class athlete. He represented the US in international competitions, co-founded a premier social ping-pong club in New York, and is an inspirational public speaker who gives hope to those facing adversity.
In this episode, you will learn the following:
1. What was the experience of growing up in a severely abusive and narcissistic environment like?
2. How did a chance encounter with ping-pong lead to a life-changing opportunity?
3. How did the power of kindness disarm a violent and angry kid about to take drastic action?
Connect with Wally Green:
Connect with Sabine Skvenberg:
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TRANSCRIPT
00:00:00 Wally: Ran out of the house, ran a couple of doors down, went and got a gun, came back and put the gun to my stepfather's head. And I was like, "I'm going to end your life today." And my mom started just acting crazy and yelling and screaming and it was just crazy emotions going on. And my mom picked up the phone, and then my mom said, "You guys need to hurry up. My son is trying to kill my husband.” Not that my son is protecting me. Not that my husband was choking the hell out of my son and me is protecting me or my son has a gun. No, the exact words, "Well, my son is trying to kill my husband." And I felt the ultimate betrayal that any kid could ever feel.
00:00:54 Sabine: Hello, my name is Sabine Skvenberg, founder and host of BECOME. The content will inspire you to reach your aspirations and become the best version of yourself. I feature interviews with successful individuals from various industries, delving into their personal and professional journeys and their strategies to achieve their goals. We have to become the person we are meant to be first so we can live the life we are destined to live. That means we must overcome challenges and work through difficult times to learn, grow, and become the new, more fabulous version of ourselves. I'm so glad that you're here. Let's get on this journey together.
00:01:48 Sabine: My guest today is Wally Green, a celebrity pro athlete from Brooklyn who overcame poverty and violence to become a world-class athlete. He represented the US in international competitions, including a historic trip to North Korea and co-founded a premier social ping-pong club in New York. Wally's determination, spirit, and perseverance make him a true inspiration and role model for anyone facing adversity. He proves that anything is possible with hard work, dedication and a positive attitude.
00:02:32 Sabine: Hello and welcome, Wally. How are you today?
00:02:36 Wally: I'm great, thank you. Thanks for having me.
00:02:38 Sabine: Oh, it was just such a pleasure meeting you at the last Podfest expo where we both were speakers. And it's interesting that Saturday where we met, I actually got up and I meditated and I did set intentions for that day. And that one intention that I said was, "I just want to be present and want to create meaningful connections," and what do you know? I ran into you this morning or that morning, and I saw you playing table tennis with your iPhone. I said that's a cool dude, and then we got to talk and I actually got to play with you a little bit. I don't play much table tennis and I haven't done it for years. But there was one technique my dad taught me and that was how you start. And you had not an English impression, like this when you...
00:03:42 Wally: Slice?
00:03:44 Sabine: Slice! Yeah, slice. I think I surprised you a little bit.
00:03:48 Wally: It was very consistent.
00:03:51 Sabine: Good. Thanks for getting that compliment from a table tennis pro. So, yes, I put this light on my shoulder a little bit, little star. But joke aside, we talked a little bit and you shared your story. And to tell you the truth, what I think your story does can help so many people feeling that they are not alone and also feeling that there is a solution, that the solution really lies within us. So I really would like to start by getting into your story. You actually overcame poverty and violence to become a world class athlete. Today, you are not only an amazing athlete and human being, but you're also an inspirational public speaker who gives hope to those who are right now battling abuse and are in the midst of poverty and violence. Take us back to the time that you lived under these circumstances.
00:05:08 Wally: Yeah, so I grew up in the projects with very abusive, narcissistic stepfather, and he used to beat up my mom pretty much regularly and me as well. But even more, which I think was worse than the beatings, was the mental abuse. He used to systematically try to break us down to let us feel that he was the king of the castle, as you might say. So my stepfather would tell me things like you're never going to be successful. You're a failure. Whatever you do is never going to be good. And the thing is that he would say it in a way where he wasn't angry. Because I always talk about this. A lot of times parents say things because they're angry and they'll say, "Oh, you're a failure," but they don't really mean it . But he wouldn't say this out of anger.
00:06:09 Wally: I would come home from school, maybe, and then he would say, "Hey, how was your day?" "It was okay." And then he would say, "Well, you know, you're going to have a lot more bad days like this, and you know that you're never going to be able to get out of this." And it's kind of strange because like I said, you're used to a parent saying this when they're angry, not when they're not angry. But he was trying to program this into our heads to believe this.
00:06:43 Sabine: The interesting part, as children, we are like sponges. And whatever we are being told, what we absorb, what we observe stays with us. So what kind of impact did it make on you?
00:07:02 Wally: Man, so I needed to find outlets, right ? Because I was hurting inside. I was very angry inside. And I started, say, the gang life at a very young age because that was where I found acceptance. I found acceptance with a bunch of people who kind of going through the same thing I was going through. And that became my family at 13. I already owned six guns, at 13, it was really crazy. But the other half of me found sports, right? So sports was the balance between that violent and angry life. Sports allowed me to use some of that anger to be competitive, and I just joined every single sports team because you practice in the morning and then you go to school all day, and then you practice in the afternoon or an evening. By the time I get home, I was kind of numb to all the abuse that was going on.
00:08:10 Sabine: One of the things that you shared with me when we had a prior conversation was a situation that you faced that almost got you into prison. Would you mind sharing that?
00:08:29 Wally: Yeah, that's one of the probably most I would say probably one of the most darkest moments in my entire life. I got sent away for two years because I got caught with a gun in school, a loaded weapon in school, and my mom somehow figured out that I would get sent to boarding school. So it was either ten years in jail boarding school, and because I had good grades in school, and I had good grades because I had people doing the work, had people doing the work because I needed to stay on the sports teams. And I came back. I got sent to Africa, and I came back two years later, and I wasn't that same kid. I wasn't that same kid that was being abused, and I wasn't that same kid that was being told you're useless. You're worthless. I hope you die. Because now I was in Africa and I joined this thing called Man of War. And the reason I joined Man of War was the closest to an elite killing army. I don't even know how you would even say it. It was the craziest thing, one of the crazy things I ever did, and it was like Navy Seals for kids.
00:09:44 Sabine: Oh, wow.
00:09:45 Wally: That's what it was like. The training was crazy. And the reason I joined that is because I wasn't being accepted there. So I had...
00:09:55 Sabine: Why is that?
00:09:56 Wally: Because I had the people and the Africans were telling me, "Oh, you're not the real Black." That's what they were telling me. And they were like they used to say to me they used to say, you're the kid who eats butter. In their language, they say, I eat butter. And what they tried to say was, I was soft, and I wasn't soft, in no mood. So I spent a lot of time fighting. I spent a lot of time trying to prove myself. And I joined this crazy thing, and I came back. I came back to America, and I was strong now. Every kid wants to protect his mom.
00:10:35 Wally: And when I came back, I was a different kid. I wasn't the same kid. I was totally, totally different mentally and physically. And my stepfather was grabbing my mom by the throat and yelling at her, and I turned around, and I just looked. That's all I did. I just turned around, I looked and he says, "If you look over here again, you're going to get the same thing." And I just exploded. Because like I said, I wasn't that same kid anymore. But all those emotions from all those years of abuse just came out then.
00:11:10 Wally: And I ran out of the house. I actually don't even remember the part running out of the house, but I ran out the house. And at this time, I didn't have the guns in my house because I was away. So we put them at my friend's house. I ran out the house, ran a couple of doors down, went and got a gun, came back and put the gun to my stepfather's head. And I was like, "I'm going to end your life today." And my mom started just acting crazy and yelling and screaming. It was just a crazy emotion going on. And my mom picked up the phone and then my mom said, "You guys need to hurry up. My son is trying to kill my husband." Not that my son is protecting me, not that my husband was choking the hell out of me and my son is protecting me or my son has a gun. No. The exact words were my son is trying to kill my husband. And I felt the most ultimate betrayal that any kid could ever feel, right?
00:12:17 Wally: How does your mom, who you always in all your life wanted to protect, all your life you wanted to protect her, how does that person turn against you. I put the gun to both of them. I was going to shoot my mom and my stepfather that day, but something came on my shoulder. I always talk about the something divine intervention, God, an angel, whatever you want to call it, came on my shoulder and say, "Hey, if you kill your mom and your stepfather, if you do this today, every single thing that your stepfather said about you is going to come true today." And my stepfather always said you will be dead. You'll be in jail for the rest of your life. That's what he always said to me.
00:13:09 Wally: I thought about it, right ? And all of this is happening so fast. And all kinds of things that go through my head, all these emotions. I didn't hate anyone more than I hated my stepfather. And I could not allow anything that he ever said to come true. And so I came to my senses and I told him, I said you guys deserve each other and I'm out. And I just left. And I chose to not end their lives because ending their lives would have ended my life as well.
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00:15:55 Sabine: Yeah. This message alone, hopefully for people that listen to that, they understand that we do have a choice, even in those circumstances. But I'm just wondering, there's so many domestic violence and shootings and people literally also end their own lives when they are the shooter, what you realized. But it's also because there are so many guns available here, and it's so different here in the States, like it is in Germany, for example, or other European countries that they are way less murders and suicides and whatnot, because the guns are not available. I'm totally for more control because of that very reason.
00:16:54 Sabine: But to go back to your story, I truly believe that you are being put here on this earth to have a greater mission and purpose. And when we are open to listen to that small voice or that angel that comes to you in that very moment of despair, then we can change. And what you did with that is really showing. And that's what this podcast is all about, that we have the chances to become our next greater self. So you ran away and how, from that moment on, what happened to you, that you actually became a world class athlete and advocate for peace and advocate the fight against domestic violence.
00:17:54 Wally: Yeah. So I found the most unlikely sport, which is ping-pong because no one in the projects plays ping-pong. He may play for fun. It's definitely played in the prisons. It's definitely one of the sports that's played, but no one really goes and seeks out to be a pro ping-pong player. I randomly found this sport at a pool hall where I got upset. I broke my pool stick. I needed someone to lash out at because that's what I did. Whenever I felt upset or something happened to me, I blamed everyone else. And I saw some kids playing ping-pong, and I went up to them and I was like, "Hey, I want to get it hit." And the guy said, "You play this." I say I don't play this. Just give me the paddle. So I was being a bully. The kid gave me the paddle and he hit the ball to me. And as soon as he hit the ball to me, I was trying to hit him in the face with the ball. I was trying to hit the face. It's like hit the kid in the face. Oh, my bad. But it wasn't me. It was me being a bully.
00:19:07 Wally: And so it's taking my anger out. So I tried to hit him in the face with the ball, but because I was so bad, I went and hit the ball. And I had the angle of the racket turned the wrong way, and the ball went on the table and the kid goes, "Oh, my God, that's amazing. You should go to this ping-pong club. You should go check it out where people play." And I was like there's no way there's a place where people gather together and play this. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. And I was like, "Yeah, okay." And I went down to the place he said, and when I got there, I saw people playing, and they were standing back from the tables making all this noise and oh, and doing all kinds of crazy stuff. And I was like, 'Wow, man, this is crazy." And more importantly, there were Black people playing. All the people that were there that day, I think it was maybe I remember like six, seven, eight people playing, they were all black. If I walked into that place and maybe I saw all Asians just playing, then I probably would have just walked–
00:20:04 Sabine: So how did you end up actually becoming that athlete, that pro athlete?
00:20:09 Wally: Well, I got some help. I met a guy who came to that club one day and says, "Hey, do you have a partner?" I was like, "No." He goes, "I'll pay you $20 if we can play together two times a week." And I was like, "What? $20?" And at this time, I was basically living in the streets. Because, like I said, I had left my house and I never went back home. And $20 was a lot of money for...
00:20:34 Sabine: How old were you?
00:20:37 Wally: I was at the time, about 17 years old. 16 and a half, 17. And $20 is a lot of money. $20, I could eat. So this guy paid me $20. We talked. One day, I went to the club, and a 22 caliber, it's a small handgun, 22 caliber fell out of my bag in front of him. And then he saw it, I looked at him, he looked at me, and I was like, "I got to go." I wasn't going to stay. I don't know he's going to even call the police. So I left. I thought, "Man, there goes my $20." That's it. And he actually called me back a couple of days later, and he says, "Hey, are we still playing?" And I was like, "What? Okay." I didn't think nothing of it because I needed the $20. I was depending on that $20.
00:21:24 Wally: And I play with him, and he says, "I want to invite you to my house." And I was wondering why would you want to invite a kid like me to your house? It didn't make any sense, right? But of course, because I was making $20. Let's go. Because, you know, a lot of people say, "Hey, weren't you afraid that he might do something ?" No, I wasn't afraid. You know, I walk around with guns, so I'm not afraid that this guy is going to do anything at all. If anything, it's bad for him from bringing me to his house.
00:21:57 Wally: Anyway, I went to his house, and he introduced me to his family, and they did what families do. Sat down at the table, ate at the same time, passed the food around, had conversation. And I was like, "Oh, okay, this is very interesting." I think he wanted to give me an idea of what family was. He wanted to be an idea what family was. And then he goes, "Hey, you know what? I really want to help you, so I'm going to pay for you to go to Germany to learn ping-pong." And I was like--
00:22:34 Sabine: Wow. I'm just wondering why he was doing it? Did you ever figure it out?
00:22:41 Wally: No. You know what? I'll tell you something even more importantly. Because there's a crucial point to this part of the story, which I always forget to mention this, but there's a crucial point to this part of the story. He never mentioned about the gun that fell out of my bag in front of him. He never brought it up. He never talked about it. He never mentioned it. It was almost like it didn't happen. And after years of thinking about this crazy story, I think, maybe that was something he did on purpose, because 150%, if he would have said something like, "Oh, you shouldn't be walking around with guns, you shouldn't be carrying this, you shouldn't be doing that," I would have never talked to him again. $20 or not. I would have just ghosted him immediately. Like immediately. So the fact that he never brought up the gun that fell in front of him and he never talked about it, he never said anything, just never talked about it again, and that was it. And that's the reason why everything worked the way --
00:23:51 Sabine: That really turned everything around. You became this great athlete and you started your career. So what was going on in your mind? Without going into really the details, it probably is a process, but can you think at one moment in your life that was really the transitional moment for you to really understand and know that there is something else for you in store and that you are going to go a different direction?
00:24:30 Wally: Just because I went to Germany doesn't mean I wasn't still this violent kid, right? If you take a kid out the projects and you put them in Germany, it doesn't make him a nice kid by any means necessary. So I was still a violent , angry kid. Just a violent, angry kid now in Germany. I lived, I think it's in German sports Schula, like the sports school. Under Sports Scholar, where all the kids where all the kids live, they all live there and they play different sports. So these are like your future pro athletes, your future Olympians. So I live with these kids, and when I was there, I was having a problem fitting in. And not because they weren't inviting, they were very inviting. They saw me like, "Where are you from?" "In New York." "Oh, that's the guy from New York. Oh, that's the guy from America." And they're like, "Oh my God, you're so cool and you're so nice," and this and I was like, "Get away from me." That's how I was like.
00:25:30 Wally: Because you know where I grew up, if people are like, "Oh, you're amazing, you're great." If people are singing your praises, it means they want something. Or they're trying to do something bad to you. No one just does that. So when I was in Germany, it was weird that everyone wanted to be my friend. Everyone was like, "Man, you're great. We love America," and this and that. And I was like, "What?" And so I became mentally confused. So there's a term called killing you with kindness. Killing you with kindness is a real thing. It's the effect of, let's say I'm really angry and I want to punch you in the face. And you say, "Wally, I really love you. You're such an amazing, beautiful guy." How can I punch you in the face now. I can't punch you in the face. But saying that I'm an amazing, beautiful guy doesn't take the anger away. So now I'm in a bad spot. Now I can't punch you in the face because I still have some humanity left.
00:26:32 Wally: Because there are people that I grew up with who don't have humanity. They'll still punch you in the face doesn't matter. But I still have my humanity. So now you said something amazingly nice. You're not feeling the fire. Where does this anger go? So now, I'm still angry, but I don't want to punch you in the face or I won't punch you in the face. So the anger, where does it go? It just stays inside and it kind of makes you confused. And that's called killing you with kindness. People say, "Oh, I really hate you." "Yeah, I really love you, too. You're amazing." And inside you burn, because that person didn't give me that few. So I can come back with the second word or come back with last shout.
00:27:14 Sabine: So how did you deal with that?
00:27:17 Wally: Man, you remember that? You remember that thing I talked about that when I came on my shoulder that stopped me from killing my mom and my stepfather? Well, that thing came back to me and it said, "Hey," it says, "Listen up," and, you know, look what he goes, "Why are you angry? Why? You're not in America. You're not in a gang. You're not being abused by your stepfather. You're not part of any of these things. You're in a different country where people actually like you and they don't like you because you can pick up your gun and protect them. They like you just because you're you. So what the hell is wrong with you?"
00:28:05 Sabine: I love it.
00:28:06 Wally: Yeah, that right there was a turning point. Right there, that was, like, about face change, mindset change. Every kind of change you could think of happened there when I actually realized that not everyone in the world is out to get you. Not everyone in the world hates you. And there are people in this world who genuinely care about you just because you are you and not what you can do for them. And that was the change. That was the pivoting point, the turning point.
00:28:40 Sabine: This is the golden nugget. I mean, there are so many golden nuggets, but I think this is the golden nugget everyone can take away from that. Despite if you are abused or not, where you live, who you are, you are being loved because of you. And this is so important to understand. We all are unique in our abilities, in our talents, in how we live, how we give. And once you accept that and really take it as, yes, I am me, and I am special in many different ways, oh, my gosh. I think we would have a much, much happier world.
00:29:27 Wally: Yes. I agree.
00:29:28 Sabine: Well, this was such an amazing conversation, and I know my listeners will get so much out of it. Now, what kind of projects are you working on? What is next for you?
00:29:41 Wally: Well, I love talking to kids. Talking to kids is something that I really like to do. I do some work with kids who suffer severe PTSD from family trauma. I do talks in schools. I'm a TEDx speaker. It's funny because I got asked to do TEDx three times. Two times I said no because I didn't like public speaking, actually, believe it or not. And two times I said no. And then the third time, they came to me and they said, "We have a perfect TEDx Talk for you." And I said, 'What is it about?" He said, "We want it to be on Perseverance. It's a live audience. Perseverance and we want you to tailor your talk to the youth." And I was like, "Yes!" Immediately, the answer was yes. Not knowing what the hell I was getting into, though, but the answer was yes for sure.
00:30:41 Wally: So that's my mission, to help and support these kids that are going through the same things that I went through. And it does have to be on the same level, in any level. Kids just need an air. A lot of times, they just need someone to listen to them. Someone to just hear them. Someone that they know went through the same thing that can understand what they're feeling.
00:31:07 Sabine: You are a light in this world, and you shine this light to the kids, to the youth because they can relate to it. So I wish you all the best on your journey. And if people want to get in touch with you, maybe they want to invite you to speak on their stages or for their group. How can they do that?
00:31:30 Wally: Man, a great place to get in touch with me is on Instagram. It's wallygreennyc. wallygreennyc. Instagram, best place to get in touch with me.
00:31:40 Sabine: Perfect. And I'll make sure to put it also in the show notes. Thank you so much for being here, and best for you and the future.
00:31:51 Wally: Thank you. Thank you for having me.
00:31:54 Sabine: That was my interview and if you enjoyed it, give us a five star review. Leave a comment and share it with your friends. Thanks for listening and till I see you again. Always remember, serve from the heart, follow your passion and live the life you imagine.